


You and Your Stupid Pickup Lines

by QuestingMustaches



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Bad Puns, Cute, Flirting, Fluff, Funny, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 13:10:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11464272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuestingMustaches/pseuds/QuestingMustaches
Summary: Inspired by a PromptPerson A: Did it hurt when you fell from heavenPerson B: NoA: *trips person B but catches them*....B:...A: *smirks* Well did it hurt when you fell for me"B: Oh fuck off





	You and Your Stupid Pickup Lines

Thranduil sat at a bench at North Pacific Park completely relaxed. For once he was dressed in casual attire, not worrying about how work at the clinic was going. He was, for once, not on edge and not talking to some idiotic mother who attempts to argue that vaccines aren’t really helpful since her kid isn’t sick. Just for once would he love to go off on that kind of parent. He’s imagined it several times:

_ Okay  _ ma’am,  _ but did YOU go through twelve plus years of medical school? Do you compete against every other student, with the will of a Roman to annihilate your competition so YOU can be the best doctor there is? N to the fucking O. Is that my or your name on that damn certificate on the wall? I think that’s mine. Did you read a big ass textbook and memorize medicine at all? Hell No. You got this dumbass information off of the internet. Which is totally reliable. So sit down and shut the fuck up and let me help the poor child.  _

He absolutely wished he could do such an inappropriate thing, however, he loved his job too much. He was astounding pediatrician, worked his ass off to get his job. Maybe he could do it before he retired if he ever met another parent like that. But he didn’t ask for time off to continue to think about just job. Thranduil was around thirty-nine, appeared to be in his twenties. His skin porcelain and smooth, not a single blemish. Except for a birthmark on his back that resembled a large claw slashing at his skin. His hair looked silky and had an attracting sheen, as it was bright white. People often asked if he dyed it, but he was born with naturally white hair. No one knew why or bothered to experiment on him. His mother never allowed it. 

Thranduil sat under the warm sun, that seemed to have kissed him - he never got a sunburn. A book, 1984, in his hands. He found it to be a terrifying story, the government and the lack of freedom, honesty and anything really. Everyone was a drone. He decided to pause before he gave himself a heart attack. He stood, desiring to take a stroll. A warm yet cool spring day deserved a peaceful stroll. Thranduil whistled to himself, as he walked aimlessly around the large park. Barely even took notice of a man walk up to him. 

“Ahem.” A stocky, muscular man cleared his throat. Thranduil blinked and looked down. The man was short, maybe by six or seven inches. Had the sexies- bushiest beard he’d ever seen.

“Oh, hello. I’m sorry, I didn’t see-”

“Did it hurt?”

“Wh-what?” Confusion etched onto the taller male’s face.

“When you fell from heaven?” The bearded man smirked

Thranduil grew pink. He snorted to mask his flattered expression. “Oh my, okay. An old pick up line. I’ll be going now, and no thank you.” He made to walk around the stranger only to end up tripping over his feet. The shorter male was quick to grab Thranduil.

“Oof! Ah. I’m clumsy. Sorry.” The blond scrambled quickly out of his arms.

The stranger chuckled, “Hm.”

“What?”

“Did it hurt then, when you fell for me?” He winked.

Thranduil paused, jaw dropping when he realized he was tripped. Quite honestly, it was a smooth yet slightly assholish move. 

“Fine. What’s your name?”

“Thorin.” 

“Well, Thorin, I believe you’ve earned a date. Maybe. Here’s my number.”

Thranduil smiled toothily, and made his way.

 


End file.
